Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9000
  • Number of comments : 298
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DontClickOnMe : You clicked on me. Oh my my my, are you gonna regret that. I guess your curiosity was just too much to handle, huh?

DontClickOnMe's page activity

Visits<b>alkanbigdick</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:33pm<b>MonstreBelle</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:15am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:46pm<b>kangx1</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:18pm<b>Crustified_Dibbs</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 8:43pm<b>12shadic12</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:56am<b>zombie4life283</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 4:12am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 11:05am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:47pm<b>zefronke8</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 1:42pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 10:48pm<b>ExhaustedSausage</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 3:16pm<b>ARKHAM88</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 1:26pm<b>DatBacon28</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 5:38am<b>earljonez</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 3:59am<b>Jowisee</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 2:25am<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:18pm<b>kkt1209</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:40pm

Fucked!<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 5:06pm<b>CanadiAnM8</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 3:21pm<b>shitidied</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:16am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:39am<b>TheCookieComet</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:19am<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 12:37pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:38pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 8:49pm<b>lamyakh</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 12:45pm<b>irish_lad</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:51pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:30am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Astrophysics</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:00pm<b>mushroomcassette</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 9:28pm<b>FlapJack1357</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:36pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:29pm

DontClickOnMe's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of DontClickOnMe's badges

DontClickOnMe's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32388) - you deserved it (2447)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30504) - you deserved it (2484)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36973) - you deserved it (7459)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (5819)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (13894) - you deserved it (56210)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43156) - you deserved it (3313)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34447) - you deserved it (4663)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25933) - you deserved it (3462)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42728) - you deserved it (2643)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33153) - you deserved it (4592)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38499) - you deserved it (3382)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (51028) - you deserved it (3849) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (3464)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41678) - you deserved it (3035)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35287) - you deserved it (5861)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: