Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9219
  • Number of comments : 298
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DontClickOnMe : You clicked on me. Oh my my my, are you gonna regret that. I guess your curiosity was just too much to handle, huh?

DontClickOnMe's page activity

Visits<b>justolyvia</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Dazzling_Taric</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 3:32pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 9:58pm<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:54am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:00pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 6:24pm<b>idefka</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 9:38pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:18am<b>X3liteXHunterX</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 4:29pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:43am<b>aelabed</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 1:11am<b>bbambastic</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 1:11am<b>Jayjaybrews</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 8:44am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:42pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:15pm<b>alkanbigdick</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:33pm<b>MonstreBelle</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:15am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:46pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 2:24am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 5:06pm<b>CanadiAnM8</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 3:21pm<b>shitidied</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:16am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:39am<b>TheCookieComet</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:19am<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 12:37pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:38pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 8:49pm<b>lamyakh</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 12:45pm<b>irish_lad</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:51pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:30am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Astrophysics</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:00pm<b>mushroomcassette</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 9:28pm<b>FlapJack1357</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:36pm

DontClickOnMe's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of DontClickOnMe's badges

DontClickOnMe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35830) - you deserved it (3641)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39104) - you deserved it (2751)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36814) - you deserved it (3357)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31534) - you deserved it (8251)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38364) - you deserved it (5488)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36190) - you deserved it (3780)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm - animals - by furryfriend (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40594) - you deserved it (2692)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47407) - you deserved it (6166)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46489) - you deserved it (5691)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46217) - you deserved it (29475)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52170) - you deserved it (22823)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42501) - you deserved it (15255)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: