About DontClickOnMe : You clicked on me. Oh my my my, are you gonna regret that. I guess your curiosity was just too much to handle, huh?
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DontClickOnMe's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML
by ozozl / 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Purple / 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ThaBoss12 / 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML
by Deadpool434 / 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by Drafrica / 10/13/2014 at 6:20am / South Africa / Intimacy
by furryfriend / 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML
by why me? / 09/06/2014 at 12:25am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML
by akaka / 07/14/2014 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine.… Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.…