Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DontClickOnMe

Online | Search for a member

DontClickOnMe

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5190
  • Number of comments : 275
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DontClickOnMe : You clicked on me. Oh my my my, are you gonna regret that. I guess your curiosity was just too much to handle, huh?

DontClickOnMe's page activity

Visits<b>The9thIndividual</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Wingman527</b> - yesterday at 5:49pm<b>jarret747400</b> - yesterday at 11:13pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:23pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:29pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:10am<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:23am<b>freakyfriday101</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:25pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 10:15pm<b>theblockdude</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:21am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:22pm<b>jul1azzz</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:53pm<b>skygage</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:27am<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:59am<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:47am<b>lizardFace</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 7:49am

Liked!<b>Wingman527</b> - 20 hours ago<b>morlogg</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:57pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:37pm<b>pandacrew_</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:41am<b>jerryverhagen</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:10pm<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:06pm<b>saxoBEAST57</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:28am<b>robertd73</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:06am

DontClickOnMe's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of DontClickOnMe's badges

DontClickOnMe's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20341) - you deserved it (51066)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48303) - you deserved it (3074)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49035) - you deserved it (11620)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41738) - you deserved it (15683)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (2853)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

#20535997
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33509) - you deserved it (5014)

On 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm - love - by Kiki (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

#20527973
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44251) - you deserved it (20262)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29615) - you deserved it (2206)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27575) - you deserved it (2258)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (7142)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (5453)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12416) - you deserved it (52755)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31412) - you deserved it (4368)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: