Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DontClickOnMe

Online | Search for a member

DontClickOnMe

34Fucked!

DontClickOnMeDontClickOnMe
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8182
  • Number of comments : 297
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DontClickOnMe : You clicked on me. Oh my my my, are you gonna regret that. I guess your curiosity was just too much to handle, huh?

DontClickOnMe's page activity

Visits<b>_Could_Be_Worse</b> - 23 hours ago<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:34pm<b>abby1212</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:03pm<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:37am<b>AdrianFoo21</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 3:58am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:09am<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:03am<b>alyssablack2012</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:06pm<b>GGregoire</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>nealdown</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:20pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:37pm<b>sonicboom9876</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:53am<b>SUPERsassy11783</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:07am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:29am<b>roman11</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:41am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:38pm<b>feven</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 9:43pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 9:29pm

Fucked!<b>Ajf92002</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 12:37pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:38pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 8:49pm<b>lamyakh</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 12:45pm<b>irish_lad</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:51pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:30am<b>BlueDragonDC</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Astrophysics</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:00pm<b>mushroomcassette</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 9:28pm<b>FlapJack1357</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:36pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:29pm<b>CurtisGirl</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 5:12am<b>randomname42</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 2:51am<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:28pm<b>stacey2570</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:25am<b>Goddamnit6969</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:21am

DontClickOnMe's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of DontClickOnMe's badges

DontClickOnMe's favorite FMLs

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (35651)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

#21352803
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31343) - you deserved it (3754)

On 02/09/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

#21345020
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25257) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/27/2015 at 10:09am - animals - by dogproblems (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

#21344008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29158) - you deserved it (2195)

On 01/25/2015 at 1:21pm - work - by fartje - Netherlands

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (2271)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a job interview. It was my last shot of getting a job before my savings run dry. It all went well until I was asked why I wanted to join the company. I got flustered and stuttered, "Because I um, I like money?" The guy gave me the most insincere "We'll be in touch." ever. FML

#21339665
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26153) - you deserved it (8063)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33345) - you deserved it (6129)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML

#21311807
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28151) - you deserved it (2310)

On 12/05/2014 at 1:17am - money - by still poor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28047) - you deserved it (2412)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34906) - you deserved it (3548)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37852) - you deserved it (2661)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33936) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29882) - you deserved it (7901)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: