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DontClickOnMe

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DontClickOnMe
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3746
  • Number of comments : 249
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DontClickOnMe : You clicked on me. Oh my my my, are you gonna regret that. I guess your curiosity was just too much to handle, huh?

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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DontClickOnMe's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41342) - you deserved it (4843)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45253) - you deserved it (8510)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

#21016927
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38265) - you deserved it (15060)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by awkwardpartybear (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39340) - you deserved it (3302)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

#20609136
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46858) - you deserved it (4772)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (4979)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (6377)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

#20581032
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25385) - you deserved it (6762) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/08/2013 at 5:10pm - misc - by La Guigne - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (4982)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56169) - you deserved it (5702)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18370) - you deserved it (48195)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45858) - you deserved it (2907)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47202) - you deserved it (11115)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)



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