DonkeyTeeth2013

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Offline (the 01/18/2016 at 5:23am)

DonkeyTeeth2013

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 February 2000 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 981
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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DonkeyTeeth2013's page activity

Visits<b>munasweet</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:19am<b>BlueBaronBitch</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 6:58pm<b>DarkAvalon</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:02pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 6:57pm<b>aceofspadesnix</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 8:57pm<b>Overlord247</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:25pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 5:42pm<b>thesawgmizer</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:03pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:53pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:46pm<b>IAMTHEJEWBOY</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 2:46am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:08am<b>DavidaimeRS</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:53pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:20am<b>tormcn</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:09am<b>tasbaby</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:03am<b>Duckzy</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:42pm<b>HeXr</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:24pm

Fucked!<b>aceofspadesnix</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:57am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:36am

DonkeyTeeth2013's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of DonkeyTeeth2013's badges

DonkeyTeeth2013's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2015 at 9:51am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend canceled his plans to attend my father's wake, not even 10 minutes after he found out there won't be any alcohol on offer. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2014 at 6:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

by guiltnazan / 09/06/2014 at 3:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

by sunil / 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 6:06pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML

by Little Miss Fucket / 06/13/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML

by fuckingdieyouoldhag / 05/20/2014 at 4:08pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

by livingamongtheflowers / 05/15/2014 at 1:40am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML

by ughhhh / 05/03/2014 at 5:10pm / United States / Health