Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Donat96

Offline (the 07/24/2014 at 8:24pm) | Search for a member

Donat96

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1566
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Donat96 : Message me!

Donat96's page activity

Visits<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:31pm<b>dingostacy</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 7:43pm<b>CassSomething</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 4:55pm<b>commentgirl</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 8:27pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 7:43pm<b>HeyHeyFishFillet</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 1:14pm<b>Air_2000</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 5:00pm<b>yunknow</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 6:29am<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 9:22pm<b>foreveryoursbabe</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 9:17pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/21/2013 at 7:30pm<b>Cad6</b> - the 05/02/2012 at 6:19pm<b>koolkid2198</b> - the 04/18/2012 at 10:41pm

Donat96's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Donat96's badges

Donat96's favorite FMLs

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9609) - you deserved it (51765)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29587) - you deserved it (4510)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you deserved it (8967)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34573) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32910) - you deserved it (2523)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11835) - you deserved it (41183)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

#19464550
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22429) - you deserved it (3677)

On 04/14/2012 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9546) - you deserved it (57545)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30483) - you deserved it (2574)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

#18052733
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (4008)

On 10/23/2011 at 8:38am - love - by mrs.nerd - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11703) - you deserved it (41549)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

#17796010
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32247) - you deserved it (3997)

On 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

#17708531
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9117) - you deserved it (46188)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
673 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30084) - you deserved it (49091)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

#17410703
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (14119)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Kathryn - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: