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Dodie_

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Dodie_
  • Town/Country : New Asshole, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 October 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 419
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Dodie_ : I May be young... But I know what's up

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Dodie_'s favorite FMLs

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49688)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

#17781306
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12341) - you deserved it (30672)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

#17301122
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32030) - you deserved it (6194)

On 07/29/2011 at 7:36pm - kids - by Username - United States

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13757) - you deserved it (39821)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41950) - you deserved it (10569)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML

#17094031
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9696) - you deserved it (89448)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:02pm - misc - by sorehead (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

#17017863
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10001) - you deserved it (19249)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#17017856
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51650) - you deserved it (2983)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37399) - you deserved it (10105)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my daughter what time it was. She stared at the clock for several seconds before muttering, "I don't know". She's 14 years old and on the honour roll, and yet she can't tell the time on an analogue clock. FML

#16939621
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24655) - you deserved it (10689)

On 07/01/2011 at 7:12pm - kids - by sadmother (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28761) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7699) - you deserved it (53436)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I complimented a girl on her stockings pattern. Turns out she wasn't wearing stockings. FML

#16797884
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26269) - you deserved it (7734)

On 06/22/2011 at 11:28am - misc - by jordeshting - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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