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DoctorWatson

Offline (the 06/28/2015 at 6:09pm) | Search for a member

DoctorWatson

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2396
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DoctorWatson's page activity

Visits<b>Blaisey</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 6:46am<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:49pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:54am<b>rambleramble3</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:07pm<b>JUICEBOX_Warrior</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 6:47pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 12:56am

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DoctorWatson's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5455) - you deserved it (47913)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML

#19795247
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (4677)

On 06/16/2012 at 12:58am - love - by thefailwhale (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39873) - you deserved it (4255)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30920) - you deserved it (4648)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14693) - you deserved it (38509)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11584) - you deserved it (42837)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14895) - you deserved it (26341)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27547) - you deserved it (3916)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12775) - you deserved it (20885)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31865) - you deserved it (3203)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46456) - you deserved it (8899)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46456) - you deserved it (8899)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (2695)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8099) - you deserved it (63882)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33191) - you deserved it (5188)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States



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