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DoctorWatson

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DoctorWatson

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3160
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DoctorWatson's page activity

Visits<b>JoseTheSmexican</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 3:01pm<b>Blaisey</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 6:46am<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:49pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:54am<b>rambleramble3</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:07pm<b>JUICEBOX_Warrior</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 6:47pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 12:56am

Fucked!<b>JoseTheSmexican</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:01pm

DoctorWatson's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

DoctorWatson's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46031) - you deserved it (5283)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML

#20009878
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (43480)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

#20007431
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25272) - you deserved it (6233)

On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (2348)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

#19951695
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (2169)

On 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by TimeForACareerChange (man) - United States

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6649) - you deserved it (52268)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML

#19795247
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (5069)

On 06/16/2012 at 12:58am - love - by thefailwhale (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42246) - you deserved it (4492)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (5035)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15896) - you deserved it (40750)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12455) - you deserved it (44678)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15718) - you deserved it (27619)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30314) - you deserved it (4234)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13912) - you deserved it (22489)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34308) - you deserved it (3429)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States



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