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Visits<b>JoseTheSmexican</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 3:01pm<b>Blaisey</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 6:46am<b>aliceanon</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:49pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:54am<b>rambleramble3</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:07pm<b>JUICEBOX_Warrior</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 6:47pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 12:56am

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DoctorWatson's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (2692)

On 09/20/2015 at 7:57pm - work - by person - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you deserved it (13104)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32747) - you deserved it (13695)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (2979)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (3754)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28495) - you deserved it (2406)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:40am - kids - by Teach (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34584) - you deserved it (5500)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34462) - you deserved it (3377)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36676) - you deserved it (3209)

On 12/23/2014 at 10:24am - love - by got any coupons? - United States

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML


I agree, your life sucks (32528) - you deserved it (14181)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML


I agree, your life sucks (37951) - you deserved it (3603)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

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