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DoctorWatson

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DoctorWatson
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 400
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DoctorWatson's favorite FMLs

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34075) - you deserved it (13143)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39493) - you deserved it (7012)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53492) - you deserved it (6489)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49315) - you deserved it (7363)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44004) - you deserved it (2979)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43745) - you deserved it (3365)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41435) - you deserved it (3054)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34841) - you deserved it (9498)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51063) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37917) - you deserved it (2481)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (83349)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49647) - you deserved it (19871)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML



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