Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (yesterday at 7:35am) | Search for a member
About Doberman101 : Armani Mayers
Wish to know me? Kik, Instagram, Snapchat-Doberman101. I'm the one on the right with the dimple^^. Track Nation, Richmond kickers (soccer), football is life. Straight A student with a dream of becoming Validictorian as well as attending Harvard or Yale for veterinarian science. Show choir is life. Dreams of becoming a professional Singer/Actress. Currently learning guitar. Soon to be Navy veteran.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML
Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
Today, I almost got written up for insubordination by my boss. All I did was explain to him that I couldn't help a tourist out because I speak Japanese, not Korean, and that it's not in fact "the same Asian shit" as he seemed to think. FML
Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML
Friday 27 February 2015