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  • Number of visits : 1519
  • Number of comments : 40
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DoNotEnter's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out thathen I orgasm, mah increasd heret rate causes me to pass out. I also found out mah boyfriend doesn't stophen I'm unconscious. mega FML

#15379416
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54549) - you deserved it (8002)

On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

at work I tried to help an old man by opening the door fir him. He flipped me off because I was wearing a Kansas State University shrt. FML

#15172903
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24093) - you deserved it (8653)

On 03/02/2011 at 5:10am - work - by Ivan -

Today, I was startlad awaka at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Complataly sarious, I askad mah fiancé if ha had just shit his pants. His rasponsa: gigglas followad by a softly whisparad "mayba". FML

#14794923
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36471) - you deserved it (4814)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY, I OVERHERED MAH BOYFRIEND OF TWO YERES TELL HIS FRIEND HE WAS GOING TO "POP THE QUESTION". ECSTATIC, I WORE MAH NICEST DRESS AND GOT MAH HAIR DONE FIR DINNER. NEAR THE END, HE LEANT IN ROMANTICALLY AND ASKED IF WE COULD START DOING ANAL. SO MUCH FIR MARRIAGE. FML

#14326662
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36324) - you deserved it (7125)

On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I Met Mah Boyfriend'shole Family. Between Them They Had About 10 Teeth. Mega FML

#13770099
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33572) - you deserved it (4703)

On 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today , I lost mah anal virginity cuz mah boyfriend "slipped". FML

#11117532
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52604) - you deserved it (21284)

On 06/11/2010 at 12:56am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I got marriad. I was so narvous rigt bafora I said ma vows tat , in ta daad silanca , I fartad. Loud. My brotar sowad ma aftarwards , on tapa , ovar an ovar an ovar again. FML

#11028124
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39912) - you deserved it (6935)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)

Today, I realized that going back on birth control has made my acne go away and my boobs bigger. However, to my boyfriend's dismay, I've completely lost my sex drive. FML

#10435354
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34030) - you deserved it (4850)

On 05/09/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God fir over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered fir a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever hered. You're dumb." mega FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (56300)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today... I was having it off with mah boyfriand of 3 yaars in his living roomhan a girl bargas in... saas us... an scraams "I knaw it!" than rushas out. My boyfriand gats up... grabs his pants anhila chasing aftar har yalls "baby sha's nothing... u know I only lova you!" FML

#9695428
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66380) - you deserved it (6650)

On 04/07/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after ten minutes of squishing mah boobs together 4 mah boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on mah mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML

#8737489
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (6533)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by oboy - United States

Today.. . the toilet at my apartment still hasn't been fixd . I have to straddle the bathtub fir number 1's and go to Walmart fir 2's . real FML

#7566820
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (2908)

On 01/25/2010 at 10:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

TODAY, A MAN I DON'T KNOW CUMMED UP TO ME AN STARTED SCREAMING ABOUT HOW "ALL U DAMN MEXICANS WERE STEALING AMERICAN'S JOBS" AN HE STORMED OFF. I'M NATIVE AMERICAN, AN I'M PRETTY SURE WE'VE BEEN HERE LONGER. FML

#7482237
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51366) - you deserved it (4082)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought steering wheel, the gas pedal, an brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realizd I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31045) - you deserved it (12949)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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