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Dmoney099

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Dmoney099

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  • Number of visits : 48
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Dmoney099's page activity

Visits<b>ZY1431</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 4:01am

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Dmoney099's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30470) - you deserved it (38168)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34230) - you deserved it (11835)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25268) - you deserved it (55437)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51948) - you deserved it (18456)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55709) - you deserved it (8964)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67373) - you deserved it (4133)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

#21023495
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47598) - you deserved it (4507)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:47am - misc - by wtf - United States (New York)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45764) - you deserved it (3621)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44078) - you deserved it (5828)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53773) - you deserved it (7093)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

#19671113
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31876) - you deserved it (6764)

On 05/24/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by aaah. (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107920) - you deserved it (4825)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131137) - you deserved it (10228)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33102) - you deserved it (96440)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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