Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20755
  • Number of comments : 2196
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DjeePee : I'm DjeePee - not my real name, d'uh - and I live a pretty boring life, with books, series (Dexter, Game of Thrones, Friends, The Walking Dead, Rome), some cups of tea, regular visits to the flea market and museums, lots of antiques, some cats and the dream of having a place of my own.

Last words here: no, English is not my native language.
Really last words here: I can't write short comments.

DjeePee's page activity

Visits<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - 17 minutes ago<b>beeferjay</b> - 56 minutes ago<b>Jigglypuffnutz</b> - 2 hours ago<b>_ExcitedPotato_</b> - 2 hours ago<b>manuelg1095</b> - 2 hours ago<b>hellnosucka</b> - 3 hours ago<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - 3 hours ago<b>gobiteme2</b> - 3 hours ago<b>mdcdeve</b> - 3 hours ago<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Anonymosu</b> - 17 hours ago<b>BadDay98</b> - yesterday at 7:39am<b>dumbchoices72</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 3:07am<b>Indianboy9321</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 2:33am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 4:56pm<b>ezrocks4u</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:22am<b>cardshark</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 3:41am<b>TheGreatPotato</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 12:17am

Fucked!<b>buckstop1</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:57pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 6:22am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 10:09pm<b>Lukieboo</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:45pm<b>a3gab</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 2:53am<b>locustbb</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 10:51pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:03pm<b>gopi</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:29pm<b>worstgradesna</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:17pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:57pm<b>valipali</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:25pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:40pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 7:23pm<b>GIBZOTTA</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 7:30pm<b>Ash1179</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 9:41am<b>philsh94</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:01am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:44pm<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:42am

DjeePee's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of DjeePee's badges

DjeePee's favorite FMLs

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I was ready for marriage and start having kids. She hasn't called or texted me since. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17029) - you deserved it (65243)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:34am - love - by bigdawg702 (man) - United States

Today, at my girlfriend's place I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was "uggg I have to clean all this up". FML


I agree, your life sucks (42710) - you deserved it (5148)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (82911) - you deserved it (3714)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there, to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride: 1 - Getting Laid: 0. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11047) - you deserved it (97205)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51137) - you deserved it (9810)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by anonymus (man) - United States

Today, I got my first speeding ticket. Looking it over, I was surprised to see that the officer listed my height accurately despite never having seen me standing. I complimented his uncanny ability and asked if it was part of police training. He then informed me that he read it on my license. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7213) - you deserved it (58311)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44731) - you deserved it (3402)

On 07/31/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by passedoutpolly (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (74545) - you deserved it (7395)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54676) - you deserved it (2518)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML


I agree, your life sucks (97264) - you deserved it (6997)

On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands

Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (66001) - you deserved it (5064)

On 06/12/2009 at 4:04pm - love - by adderallgirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68413) - you deserved it (5060)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38235) - you deserved it (513348)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: