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Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65046) - you deserved it (6427)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (37274)
On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was driving home, it was 80 degrees out. Making a rare attempt to be eco-friendly, I turned off the A/C and lowered the windows. A bee then flew in through the window, hit my cheek, and stung me. That's what I get for attempting to be eco-friendly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35767) - you deserved it (7983)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45479) - you deserved it (4957)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I found out I have a restraining order against me from my ex boyfriend. Apparently, I drive by his house too much and it is considered stalking. He forgot that I live 2 houses down, and MUST drive by his house to get home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64165) - you deserved it (2726)
On 04/29/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by kattydoo07 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was giving my crush a lift home from a mutual friend's house. When he got in the car, my mom asked in French, "Is this the guy you won't stop talking about? You can do so much better!" Of all the things I've told about him to my mom, I forgot to mention he's French as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48056) - you deserved it (8364)
On 04/27/2009 at 12:43am - love - by frenchgirlll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my fiancée got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiancée will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43868) - you deserved it (7526)
On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by jimboxo (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (381778) - you deserved it (21586)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35664) - you deserved it (12134)
On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8762) - you deserved it (62984)
On 04/17/2009 at 8:46pm - misc - by grampsisgay (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9698) - you deserved it (55099)
On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10161) - you deserved it (58472)
On 04/16/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by filipinoclari808 (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92866) - you deserved it (13507)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53479) - you deserved it (18137)
On 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by phreshrice (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10435) - you deserved it (165666)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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