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DizzyRamone's favorite FMLs
by Kayla_Zee_Ninja / 03/07/2012 at 11:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy
by me / 02/19/2012 at 6:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, a little girl I give horse-riding lessons to told me she had saved up $8.00 for her own pony. I laughed and thought how cute she was, then realized that was more than I have in my own savings account. FML
by IHateBeingAStudent / 02/12/2012 at 4:43am / Money
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
by great / 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm / United States / Work
by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work
Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
by Shelly P. / 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by messyvictor / 01/28/2012 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, there was a big snow storm and I wanted to help shovel, so I put on 3 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of pants, 2 winter coats, 2 pairs of gloves, a hat and a scarf. Once outside, I was told to go back inside because the job was done. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2012 at 9:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML
by geeklove / 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Geek
- Today, locked out of my house for hours, I had to shit so badly that I found myself squatting under… Today my dog left a present for me at the top of the stairs. I didn't turn on the lights when I was… Today, I came out to my father and stepmother,we were watching TV and my stepmom says "that guy is…