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DizzyRamone's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 6:31pm / United States / Love
Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health
Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML
by Bishop / 06/06/2012 at 10:19am / Transportation
by Jesse / 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML
by aligator1009 / 05/09/2012 at 12:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Weak Disposition / 04/27/2012 at 12:29am / United States (Virginia) / Health
by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/21/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Maryland) / Geek
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love
by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML
by daninalani / 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Major3 / 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls.… Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose… Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while…