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DistanceRunner94

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DistanceRunner94

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 December 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 658
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DistanceRunner94 : I like to run.

DistanceRunner94's page activity

Visits<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Omer98</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 11:15pm<b>jen1682</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:33am<b>Pwib</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 2:50am<b>lilmisstif</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 2:14am<b>orenjeo</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:54pm<b>FistBlaster9000</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:40pm<b>missnewmomma</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:19pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:54pm<b>aaron5121</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:35pm<b>VasNormandy</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:15pm<b>King_paradox</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:41am<b>Lexii6789</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:56am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:07pm

DistanceRunner94's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of DistanceRunner94's badges

DistanceRunner94's favorite FMLs

Today... I had to explain to someone that all beverages... except plain water... actually have calories. They weren't too happy that there milkshake diet was over before it began. mega FML

#21384468
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18742) - you deserved it (1489)

On 03/30/2015 at 10:50pm - health - by technical - United States (Washington)

Today , I was about to lose ma virginity to ma girlfriend , wit wom I am genuinely in love wit. Rigt after I'd got te condom on , se said , "You do know tis is break-up sex , rigt?" FML

#21383831
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28431) - you deserved it (1982)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by sexisntfun (man) - United States (Florida)

today mah 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (5993)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Taday I Found Out The Fund-raiser Uncle Ran To Raise Money For His Cancer Treatment Was All A Sham, That He Doesn't Even Have Cancer, And That The Money Was To Fund A Coke Habit Nobody Knew He Even Had. FML

#21383487
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27020) - you deserved it (1766)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:33am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today , I fell asleep in class.. . And woke up hour later . My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to seehat mah face would be like waking up to a new class .

#21382364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (15057)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I ave no idea were e eard tis. FML

#21382327
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (2963)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, after telling audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid looool in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (2496)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today , my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him 4 this first-ever initiative , I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass , yelling , "Liposuction!" FML

#21380706
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (4570) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2015 at 8:58am - love - by chassezlenaturel (woman) - Belgium

Today, I broke up with mah girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open mah jars?" FML

#21378617
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (22)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27109) - you deserved it (2059)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Yesterday, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find wat I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was lyk a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25608) - you deserved it (3090)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today... I tried a new harstyle to impress a guy I like. I was pretty confident... until he took one look at me and said... "Uh... why's there an onion on yur head?" So much for that. FML

#21376359
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51) - you deserved it (5192)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:25pm - love - by RS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today my moter worked out tat my boyfriend and I are aving sex. Instead of confronting me about it se now just sits and stares at me judgmentally wenever I'm in te same room as er making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. fat FML

#21376248
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29313) - you deserved it (5419)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:00am - intimacy - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean yur ( shitter ) beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28425) - you deserved it (7720)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today,hila having sax with my boyfriand, soma homalas looool parson cama up to tha window and startad doing a voica-ovar. fat FML

#21374736
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84) - you deserved it (9509)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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