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DistanceRunner94

Offline (the 11/20/2014 at 8:32pm) | Search for a member

DistanceRunner94

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 December 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 203
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DistanceRunner94 : I like to run.

DistanceRunner94's page activity

Visits<b>Omer98</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 11:15pm<b>jen1682</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:33am<b>Pwib</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 2:50am<b>lilmisstif</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 2:14am<b>orenjeo</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:54pm<b>FistBlaster9000</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:40pm<b>missnewmomma</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:19pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:54pm<b>aaron5121</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:35pm<b>VasNormandy</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:15pm<b>King_paradox</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:41am<b>Lexii6789</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:56am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:07pm

DistanceRunner94's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of DistanceRunner94's badges

DistanceRunner94's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30382) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (4651)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I found out it is possible to get whiplash and a concussion from a tickle fight you have with your boyfriend. FML

#21292929
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26892) - you deserved it (3535)

On 11/05/2014 at 7:48pm - health - by cjhgvb - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41066) - you deserved it (6386)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML

#21290447
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30769) - you deserved it (9212)

On 11/02/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (10562)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47576) - you deserved it (14337)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33918) - you deserved it (11826)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54793) - you deserved it (7210)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

#20971859
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40192) - you deserved it (4089)

On 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm - work - by tortured (man) - United States

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45195) - you deserved it (3734)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48264) - you deserved it (8041)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43005) - you deserved it (17468)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41689) - you deserved it (17536)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States



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