Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DistanceRunner94

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

DistanceRunner94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 December 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 753
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DistanceRunner94 : I like to run.

DistanceRunner94's page activity

Visits<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Omer98</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 11:15pm<b>jen1682</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:33am<b>Pwib</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 2:50am<b>lilmisstif</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 2:14am<b>orenjeo</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:54pm<b>FistBlaster9000</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:40pm<b>missnewmomma</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:19pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:54pm<b>aaron5121</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:35pm<b>VasNormandy</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:15pm<b>King_paradox</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:41am<b>Lexii6789</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:56am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:07pm

DistanceRunner94's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of DistanceRunner94's badges

DistanceRunner94's favorite FMLs

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML

#21395050
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18519) - you deserved it (1537)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:24am - love - by apparently_disabled - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

#21393655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (1626)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:50pm - misc - by spitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

#21392030
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28905) - you deserved it (2242)

On 04/11/2015 at 9:53pm - misc - by scared4myhair - United States (Michigan)

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

#21391926
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28716) - you deserved it (8776)

On 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom let me know that I'll have to spend my entire tax return on replacing my car brakes. The reason I need new brakes is because almost every single time she uses the car, she floors the gas while the parking brake is still on. FML

Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML

#21384468
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24552) - you deserved it (1967)

On 03/30/2015 at 10:50pm - health - by technical - United States (Washington)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

#21383831
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34527) - you deserved it (2275)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by sexisntfun (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (6677)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the fund-raiser my uncle ran to raise money for his cancer treatment was all a sham, that he doesn't even have cancer, and that the money was to fund a coke habit nobody knew he even had. FML

#21383487
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30508) - you deserved it (1920)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:33am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25303) - you deserved it (15792)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (3027)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26339) - you deserved it (2518)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: