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DistanceRunner94

Offline (yesterday at 11:47pm) | Search for a member

DistanceRunner94

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 December 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 379
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DistanceRunner94 : I like to run.

DistanceRunner94's page activity

Visits<b>Omer98</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 11:15pm<b>jen1682</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 12:33am<b>Pwib</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 2:50am<b>lilmisstif</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 2:14am<b>orenjeo</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 7:54pm<b>FistBlaster9000</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:40pm<b>missnewmomma</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:19pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:54pm<b>aaron5121</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:35pm<b>VasNormandy</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:15pm<b>King_paradox</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:38pm<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:41am<b>Lexii6789</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:56am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:07pm

DistanceRunner94's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of DistanceRunner94's badges

DistanceRunner94's favorite FMLs

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36053) - you deserved it (6541)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39786) - you deserved it (2479)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32321) - you deserved it (4634)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

#21341448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30834) - you deserved it (2613)

On 01/21/2015 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33862) - you deserved it (5222)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

#21338512
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27251) - you deserved it (3127)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by DrLight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (6038)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

#21336880
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (5663)

On 01/14/2015 at 8:58am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

#21336664
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35249) - you deserved it (2461)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

#21334376
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42947) - you deserved it (2731)

On 01/10/2015 at 8:45am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

#21334154
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27346) - you deserved it (8011)

On 01/09/2015 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first ever orgasm. Then he bitched me out for insulting his intelligence, saying it was "blatantly fake" and that "women don't orgasm like that". FML

#21334061
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32647) - you deserved it (2701)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:09pm - intimacy - by good2know (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39539) - you deserved it (2452)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years old. FML

#21330918
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26736) - you deserved it (5604)

On 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm - love - by myboyfriendisweird - United States (Arizona)



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