DiscoBisquet

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DiscoBisquet

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 January 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1139
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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DiscoBisquet's page activity

Visits<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:14am<b>iSativa</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:58pm<b>Abbey1598</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:46am<b>Livviegurl99</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:06pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:01pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 11:05am<b>Kar0</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 7:42am<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:54pm<b>JustAnotherJose2</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 5:46pm<b>WhiteHippy</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:38am<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 7:45am<b>krish97</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:29pm<b>JD1147</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:11pm<b>chance_is_alone</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 4:08am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 4:06am<b>julianvasquez</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 2:59am<b>OhMyOhMila</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 2:46am<b>raresc</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 7:04am

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DiscoBisquet's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

by sh3lbst3r / 03/14/2014 at 6:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

by FMLPLZ / 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Animals

Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML

by take a fucking seat, gran / 12/14/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got the DVD back from a dance concert I did. After watching it, I realised that I had a camel toe through the whole thing. Three and a half hours. FML

by Aggie_De / 12/14/2013 at 7:00am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

by possibly a sweater / 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm / France / Health

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

by CanWeAllGetOne / 11/13/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

by roughsexgonewrong / 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

by Lady Douche of Asscrackington / 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

by failure / 10/10/2013 at 10:11am / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Animals

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

by :( / 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy