About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28173) - you deserved it (22156)
On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to buy a bra. A woman sized me and then gave me a bra to try on in the fitting room. To my pleasure, it seemed to fit well. The woman who had sized me came in to check on me and replied, "Yeah, it happens. Not everyone can be symmetrical." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (1561)
On 09/06/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by lopsided - United States
Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8139) - you deserved it (13272)
On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)
Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26804) - you deserved it (2263)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33271) - you deserved it (5029)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)
Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21168) - you deserved it (2483)
On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14714) - you deserved it (36647)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)
Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21064) - you deserved it (2583)
On 08/21/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by lol - United States
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28330) - you deserved it (5111)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (6989)
On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)
Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year old man's junk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29068) - you deserved it (883)
On 08/08/2011 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by Sharee K. - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28552) - you deserved it (8924)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28561) - you deserved it (2478)
On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19856) - you deserved it (8608)
Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33284) - you deserved it (2258)
On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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