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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14787) - you deserved it (57463)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32251) - you deserved it (2826)
On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (40772)
On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29770) - you deserved it (3798)
On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16142) - you deserved it (7109)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by ricksterile - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19603) - you deserved it (2874)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11326) - you deserved it (33195)
On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (2104)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28668) - you deserved it (18160)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11124) - you deserved it (27734)
On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)
Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (2762)
On 10/07/2011 at 10:58am - work - by Dr.Octopus454 (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9051) - you deserved it (21118)
On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24981) - you deserved it (3569)
On 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by Hoggiebear - United States (Georgia)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (6429)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (1672)
On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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