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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12849) - you deserved it (38794)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)
Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (4184)
On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7945) - you deserved it (20174)
On 12/09/2011 at 11:26am - love - by LinaLinaYeah (woman) - Canada
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8556) - you deserved it (66041)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35814) - you deserved it (3564)
On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10938) - you deserved it (27553)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10938) - you deserved it (27553)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23402) - you deserved it (13038)
On 11/30/2011 at 9:15am - misc - by oops - United Kingdom
Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (7202)
On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39119) - you deserved it (3772)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39119) - you deserved it (3772)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38577) - you deserved it (6349)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35576) - you deserved it (2105)
On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22613) - you deserved it (8149)
On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -
Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24547) - you deserved it (4525)
On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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