Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DisappearingRose

Search for a member

DisappearingRose

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15453
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(

DisappearingRose's page activity

Visits<b>lillord55</b> - 2 hours ago<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:09am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:30pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:56pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:37pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:15pm<b>ThatOneLoudGuy</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 6:39pm<b>FearZeSquirrel</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:17am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 3:37pm<b>silentseries</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:44pm<b>heatherma</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 9:03pm<b>CyanKitty</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 7:37pm<b>FanOfAnimations</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:11pm<b>isabelf</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:44pm<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:35pm<b>danthehuman</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 2:44pm<b>catqwertyuiop</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 2:06am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:22am

DisappearingRose's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of DisappearingRose's badges

DisappearingRose's favorite FMLs

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

#19871781
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6547) - you deserved it (20726)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by rs (woman) - Egypt

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21522) - you deserved it (6042)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7487) - you deserved it (32855)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you deserved it (5347)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37221) - you deserved it (4005)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37221) - you deserved it (4005)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I received the photos my friend took of me proposing to my girlfriend. I'd proposed at the place we'd first met: the local zoo. When I looked them over, I noticed there was an elephant taking a poop in the background. FML

#19792340
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22843) - you deserved it (3807)

On 06/15/2012 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

#19787608
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (2260)

On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13115) - you deserved it (23527)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML

#19771597
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23119) - you deserved it (2311)

On 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28738) - you deserved it (6030)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7184) - you deserved it (29711)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, I went to Busch Gardens. Trying to cool off, I got on a ride that soaked me to the bone. For the rest of the time I was there, my bra was visible through my clothes, along with the "Hell Yeah" printed on my underwear. FML

#19688596
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7902) - you deserved it (31617)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by taylortotscx - United States (Florida)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (5787)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

#19633356
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14896) - you deserved it (27572)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: