Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DisappearingRose

Search for a member

DisappearingRose

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16335
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(

DisappearingRose's page activity

Visits<b>Phaeno</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 11:22pm<b>theschatzinator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:52am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Muffinypowers</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 7:01am<b>mip_92</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 8:46pm<b>DropDeadKrislyn</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 7:44am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:07am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 2:14pm<b>lillord55</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:18pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:09am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:30pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:56pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:37pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:15pm<b>ThatOneLoudGuy</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 6:39pm<b>FearZeSquirrel</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:17am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 3:37pm

DisappearingRose's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of DisappearingRose's badges

DisappearingRose's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9303) - you deserved it (25118)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (4392)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML

#20018268
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (1388)

On 08/13/2012 at 4:06am - health - by stupid_airbag (man) - Australia

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14809) - you deserved it (38491)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14809) - you deserved it (38491)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (8189)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

#19981666
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23162) - you deserved it (2517)

On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6299) - you deserved it (53880)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10128) - you deserved it (31482)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (2861)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (2993)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18300) - you deserved it (36614)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18300) - you deserved it (36614)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13152) - you deserved it (24677)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

#19873262
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33316) - you deserved it (10034)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: