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DisappearingRose

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DisappearingRose

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15563
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(

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DisappearingRose's favorite FMLs

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9221) - you deserved it (52741)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35326) - you deserved it (7578)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64292) - you deserved it (5598)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7784) - you deserved it (31598)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9586) - you deserved it (45019)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

#3882
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7314) - you deserved it (39831)

On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (29872)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

#3426
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (2864)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

#2831
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11654) - you deserved it (28970)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15550) - you deserved it (67880)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (2176)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

#2388
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (1958)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)

Today, I went to Target to buy some soap and this 65-70 year old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if they had any bubble bath mix. I suddenly pictured her naked, bathing herself and suddenly my dick just couldn't sit still. It's probably because I haven't had sex in over 22 months. FML

#2281
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (10798)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:36am - intimacy - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46932) - you deserved it (8758)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

#2177
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6763) - you deserved it (23785)

On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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