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DisappearingRose

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DisappearingRose
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11869
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(

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DisappearingRose's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

#115181
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59871) - you deserved it (3616)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by unlucky_vee_13 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58801) - you deserved it (20293)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was happy because my exact shirt and sweater were in seventeen magazine. They were in the "what not to wear" category. FML

#101622
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31686) - you deserved it (11785)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by secenteenmagazine. - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60191) - you deserved it (6164)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60191) - you deserved it (6164)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239744) - you deserved it (43369)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, during a text conversation with a girl I've been trying to get with, she complained about how crummy of a day she was having. I told her it couldn't be as bad as she thought, and she would probably get it over it soon. Then she told me she had found out her cousin had been murdered. FML

#94362
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43113) - you deserved it (10837)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:30am - love - by schellbytheseashore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML

#93640
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27118) - you deserved it (46658)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by acincollege (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
717 comments

I agree, your life sucks (736678) - you deserved it (73988)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

#79669
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46519) - you deserved it (4560)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by dpl (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

#70171
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39290) - you deserved it (7486)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by mediocreboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14490) - you deserved it (38535)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

#61591
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42997) - you deserved it (2844)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by jons (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

#59474
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9065) - you deserved it (35576)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML

#55893
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31973) - you deserved it (4327)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm - kids - by Lesley (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



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