About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (2138)
On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (49027)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55936) - you deserved it (19871)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41710) - you deserved it (13990)
On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28011) - you deserved it (10670)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40789) - you deserved it (1733)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - intimacy - by Sleeper_C3ll (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40789) - you deserved it (1733)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - intimacy - by Sleeper_C3ll (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40789) - you deserved it (1733)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - intimacy - by Sleeper_C3ll (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29476) - you deserved it (6354)
On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (177322) - you deserved it (7211)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:51am - intimacy - by rexob (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12724) - you deserved it (36848)
On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12438) - you deserved it (35302)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11661) - you deserved it (49462)
On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31362) - you deserved it (766)
On 02/01/2009 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6954) - you deserved it (40602)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
