Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DisappearingRose

Search for a member

DisappearingRose

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 20406
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(

DisappearingRose's page activity

Visits<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 2:37am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:16pm<b>Perhaps0</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 3:40pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 11:12am<b>mmorre</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:31pm<b>Nexa</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:20am<b>NomadicPie</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:11am<b>ZogerOx</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:14am<b>kyle8211</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:18pm<b>dapoog124</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:06am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:30am<b>enter______name</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:51am<b>Risea</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:04am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:43pm<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:36pm<b>xXsnowbreezeXx</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:06pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 3:46pm<b>Scryll</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:42pm

DisappearingRose's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of DisappearingRose's badges

DisappearingRose's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

#239452
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8770) - you deserved it (80369)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I called to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said 'Mommy, I don't want to leave.' She wasn't talking to me. FML

#234756
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137975) - you deserved it (9217)

On 03/07/2009 at 3:15pm - kids - by divorced (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55661) - you deserved it (17771)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

#231694
159 comments

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

#225509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61890) - you deserved it (10333)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

#221148
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65246) - you deserved it (3740)

On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (498953) - you deserved it (48487)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, when he produced several graphic photos of him having it off with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML

#213977
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51911) - you deserved it (4043)

On 03/05/2009 at 12:14am - work - by UhhhUhhhRRRick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

#211586
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83281) - you deserved it (4978)

On 03/04/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (238038) - you deserved it (31207)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

#208804
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51157) - you deserved it (8300)

On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML

#207731
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71602) - you deserved it (7327)

On 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by alone_forever (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26800) - you deserved it (41692)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

#198031
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109962) - you deserved it (7188)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • OK jkjk it was FMLS April Fools
  •   Yah its know over, ive stoppd wrotting… Sorry, I'll try again. There, it's over, I can stop typing TXT language with my forehead. Yes, you probably cottened on that it was our little…

Monday 30 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: