Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DisappearingRose

Search for a member

DisappearingRose
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11781
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(

DisappearingRose's last visitors

MisterCrossMillenkAPISHtpm45kjdavis1200the_rude_dudeelibelpoppypoptarts

DisappearingRose's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of DisappearingRose's badges

DisappearingRose's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when this small boy starts looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kids face look like that"? He said it so loud 3 tables next to us turned and looked. FML

#330235
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45776) - you deserved it (2870)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:46pm - kids - by maximumpower (man) - United States (New York)

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

#322339
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97541) - you deserved it (4906)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by that1guy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14857) - you deserved it (175148)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14857) - you deserved it (175148)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

#318260
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (58925)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

#308282
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58627) - you deserved it (4145)

On 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

#300638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30242) - you deserved it (63568)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML

#296408
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8825) - you deserved it (43732)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by MikeyPeters - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML

#295386
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11528) - you deserved it (40936)

On 03/12/2009 at 11:42pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128572) - you deserved it (19248)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15319) - you deserved it (65076)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240495) - you deserved it (36560)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48813) - you deserved it (299945)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21628) - you deserved it (71659)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49037) - you deserved it (93058)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: