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DisappearingRose

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DisappearingRose

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 24117
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(

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DisappearingRose's favorite FMLs

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12119) - you deserved it (91676)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46604) - you deserved it (5019)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15789) - you deserved it (41697)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15789) - you deserved it (41697)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML

#18392914
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (18304)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:15am - misc - by oops - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

#18358747
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30404) - you deserved it (9511)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
494 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48655) - you deserved it (4556)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
494 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48655) - you deserved it (4556)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48363) - you deserved it (7403)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML

#18329245
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45608) - you deserved it (3167)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

#18321705
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (10575)

On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

#18289580
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (6163)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19365) - you deserved it (79984)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39289) - you deserved it (3873)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (47152)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States



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