About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8160) - you deserved it (64890)
On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8160) - you deserved it (64890)
On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36140) - you deserved it (1906)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't know what's worse, that he found my porn or that he's better at hiding his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10144) - you deserved it (18983)
On 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by Alohaporno (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11356) - you deserved it (32830)
On 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12545) - you deserved it (22885)
On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36281) - you deserved it (10746)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43323) - you deserved it (7601)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (2281)
On 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm - misc - by Emma - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22550) - you deserved it (3888)
On 08/01/2011 at 12:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21866) - you deserved it (24651)
On 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by iannie - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25576) - you deserved it (3315)
Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33778) - you deserved it (11758)
On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States
Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (8327)
On 07/30/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by tamponface (man) - United Kingdom
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15047) - you deserved it (55533)
On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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