Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DisappearingRose

Search for a member

DisappearingRose

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 19148
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(

DisappearingRose's page activity

Visits<b>NomadicPie</b> - 11 hours ago<b>ZogerOx</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 11:14am<b>kyle8211</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:18pm<b>dapoog124</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:06am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:30am<b>enter______name</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 12:51am<b>Risea</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:04am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:43pm<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:36pm<b>xXsnowbreezeXx</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:06pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 3:46pm<b>Scryll</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:42pm<b>camelotgrace</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 11:24am<b>Phaeno</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 12:56pm<b>LilMsDulce</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 3:40am<b>dreamcatcher23</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 3:31am<b>orbit</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Toodle_doo</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 6:57pm

DisappearingRose's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of DisappearingRose's badges

DisappearingRose's favorite FMLs

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (54574)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43660) - you deserved it (6795)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43128) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60938) - you deserved it (5979)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49858) - you deserved it (8450)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53124) - you deserved it (17245)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

#20793573
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (9992)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by imawesomeokay (woman) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100129) - you deserved it (11681)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52331) - you deserved it (21152)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59900) - you deserved it (4746)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54009) - you deserved it (3468)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47869) - you deserved it (3815) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63332) - you deserved it (6283)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57105) - you deserved it (9871)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: