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DisappearingRose

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DisappearingRose

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16794
  • Number of comments : 212
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About DisappearingRose : My FML's won't get published. :(

DisappearingRose's page activity

Visits<b>orbit</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Toodle_doo</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 6:57pm<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:02am<b>Phaeno</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 11:22pm<b>theschatzinator</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 10:52am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Muffinypowers</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 7:01am<b>mip_92</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 8:46pm<b>DropDeadKrislyn</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 7:44am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:07am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 2:14pm<b>lillord55</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:18pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:09am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:30pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:56pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:37pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:15pm

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DisappearingRose's favorite FMLs

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (53973)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42450) - you deserved it (6624)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (3147)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60862) - you deserved it (5975)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49803) - you deserved it (8440)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53060) - you deserved it (17221)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

#20793573
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40372) - you deserved it (9798)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by imawesomeokay (woman) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99757) - you deserved it (11647)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52268) - you deserved it (21130)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58326) - you deserved it (4596)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53937) - you deserved it (3461)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

#20728225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47804) - you deserved it (3814) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by Sovekipisse (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61522) - you deserved it (6121)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57039) - you deserved it (9866)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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