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About Dimondium : I'm a trash-talking, shit-spewing, over-zealous, IQ-of-150-exactly, honors-class-taking, debate-class-taking, arrangement-making, fanfiction-writing, sarcastic brony son of a BITCH. I assure you that if you do anything to piss me off, you will be on the other end of a gigantic piss-storm.
My name is Eric Milligan, and my alias in both music and writing worlds is 'Dimondium' (yes, as in Futurama). I'm most known for my musical ability, and have arranged MANY songs for concert band. If you want one, you can email me, include a MIDI, and I'll get back to you ASAP. Times include 3 days-3 weeks.
I'm also a fanfiction writer. I reside on FIMfiction, under my alias. I have been featured once, with my story She Was Mine.
My favorite pony is Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy isn't a tree, Rarity isn't a marshmallow, Scootaloo is not a chicken, and yes, I have NOT seen every episode.
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Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML
Thursday 10 April 2014