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DimiAmphetamine

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DimiAmphetamine

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 October 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 203
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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DimiAmphetamine's page activity

Visits<b>MonkeyBurgerMan</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 8:34am<b>Dimi_Amphetamine</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 4:54pm<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 3:38am<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 3:00am

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DimiAmphetamine's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

#21161539
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30810) - you deserved it (9113)

On 06/03/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by properpissed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I searched up ways to fix my eyebrows since they were so bushy and thick. I took my tweezers and set to work. It went to shit. So now, I have one completely straight eyebrow that makes me look like Bert from Sesame Street and another that's arched like Nina Dobrev's. FML

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60063) - you deserved it (8481)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at work I had to explain to a client that male dogs can wear red collars and it doesn't make them "gay". The client then got angry and stormed out of the store, causing me to get written up. FML

#21153154
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42981) - you deserved it (4502)

On 05/27/2014 at 7:15am - animals - by Holyguacamoly (woman) - Iceland

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47008) - you deserved it (9249)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

#20974515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56099) - you deserved it (6076)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML

#20972839
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51396) - you deserved it (5589)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by unluckylassy - Ireland

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41280) - you deserved it (5168)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47557) - you deserved it (17222)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67019) - you deserved it (5572)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (63773)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56862) - you deserved it (8662)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (12114)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

#20950083
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22559) - you deserved it (5489)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:00am - intimacy - by xomelodygervais (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (77920)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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