DimaL

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DimaL

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 307
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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DimaL's page activity

Visits<b>shoopd</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 12:17pm<b>megan45462</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 11:41am

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DimaL's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

by S. Fancyson / 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

by supapimpin / 09/25/2012 at 11:09am / United States / Intimacy

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

by a chick in California / 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, while jogging, I realized my face jiggles more than my breasts. FML

by Janice / 11/07/2011 at 12:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

by JLD / 10/11/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML

by umm / 12/08/2009 at 3:35pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy