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Dillybar

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Dillybar
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3731
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dillybar's favorite FMLs

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

#691341
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16819) - you deserved it (81299)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:08pm - animals - by trainE - United States (Michigan)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11517) - you deserved it (123245)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then proceded to joke about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15238) - you deserved it (104753)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (183541) - you deserved it (27534)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

#600956
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21726) - you deserved it (111975)

On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

#551399
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11682) - you deserved it (113991)

On 03/23/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by lily (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49394) - you deserved it (598205)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

#483227
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12370) - you deserved it (88051)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by HughGorgy (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

#456719
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12357) - you deserved it (93508)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by its_all_legit - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68327) - you deserved it (22513)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML

#437815
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13537) - you deserved it (75543)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92142) - you deserved it (42639)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (183405)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41286) - you deserved it (228859)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)



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