Dillybar

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Dillybar

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6012
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dillybar's page activity

Visits<b>Junepo</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 2:18am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:09am<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 6:32pm<b>Sequoya87</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:13pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:06am<b>VanadiumV</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 7:01pm<b>c_fox1954</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 2:57pm<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 12:05am<b>Ashez55</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 10:58pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:00pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:20am<b>Lida</b> - the 11/25/2009 at 2:21pm<b>Saluton</b> - the 11/03/2009 at 9:43am<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/07/2009 at 7:13pm<b>Trev23</b> - the 10/07/2009 at 6:55pm<b>kme123</b> - the 09/25/2009 at 6:41pm<b>TakeItEasyPeople</b> - the 09/10/2009 at 4:42pm<b>Jason_Q</b> - the 09/10/2009 at 1:23am

Dillybar's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Dillybar's favorite FMLs

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

by soljaboy / 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

by psychortiz / 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

by crazystuff23 / 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

by Wick / 05/26/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

by AyoitsSteveo / 05/24/2009 at 5:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

by lm / 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML

by ccc / 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Money