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DigitalFusion

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DigitalFusion

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  • Number of visits : 397
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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DigitalFusion's page activity

Visits<b>thefishmongerman</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:22pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:03pm<b>MeIsHere</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:54am<b>emilycardona7</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:48pm<b>poolguy69</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 6:43pm<b>UntoldStory69</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:04pm<b>anon007007</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 7:55am<b>redwingsfan88</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 12:16am

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DigitalFusion's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41960) - you deserved it (3831)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (3291) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

#18774764
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11913) - you deserved it (29866)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Dockin (man) - India

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47484) - you deserved it (2171)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12996) - you deserved it (41236)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41055) - you deserved it (16596)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14602) - you deserved it (31219)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

#18072512
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36103) - you deserved it (5657)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31087) - you deserved it (15113)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

#17446772
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36348) - you deserved it (7129)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Pissedoff777 - United States (Arizona)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37329) - you deserved it (8122)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48101) - you deserved it (2391)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13352) - you deserved it (47358)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30484) - you deserved it (4932)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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