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DickSloth

Offline (the 03/26/2014 at 10:33pm) | Search for a member

DickSloth

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  • Number of visits : 524
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DickSloth's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

DickSloth's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41705) - you deserved it (14568)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (3974)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47767) - you deserved it (6318)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

#21205230
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (11478)

On 07/10/2014 at 5:28pm - misc - by cassieono - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44588) - you deserved it (7611)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

#21204670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45445) - you deserved it (3740)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by library book - United States (Texas)

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

#21203953
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40910) - you deserved it (3278)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:54pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML

#21203575
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43279) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:02am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

#21203309
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42572) - you deserved it (3060)

On 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40730) - you deserved it (2743)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35512) - you deserved it (3059)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, I got called a cunt at work by a customer. What could I have said that could have caused them to say that? "Have a great day." FML

#21201129
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38139) - you deserved it (3474)

On 07/06/2014 at 11:39pm - work - by notoneatall - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

#21200605
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42466) - you deserved it (6904)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48390) - you deserved it (4306)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41992) - you deserved it (8378)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States



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