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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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DickRice

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DickRice
  • Town/Country : Columbus, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 863
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About DickRice : LIFE IS NOT THAT COMPLICATED!!!
You get up,
go to work,
eat 3 meals a day,
take one good shit,
then go to bed!

Whats the fucking mystery?

DickRice's last visitors

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DickRice's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DickRice's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (50446)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

#3136598 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (13849) - you deserved it (29358)

On 06/23/2009 at 12:44am - animals - by Xtine (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

#1872793 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (75184) - you deserved it (3287)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

#1692972 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (46992) - you deserved it (7792)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by jojo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

#1686217 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (7188) - you deserved it (69241)

On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML

#1617373 (536)

I agree, your life sucks (65834) - you deserved it (177646)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682 (325)

I agree, your life sucks (168623) - you deserved it (8586)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425 (328)

I agree, your life sucks (187564) - you deserved it (9385)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

#796416 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (64495) - you deserved it (31319)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (43451) - you deserved it (361054)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363051) - you deserved it (401399)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (154960) - you deserved it (19178)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (21709) - you deserved it (43866)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (690)

I agree, your life sucks (342734) - you deserved it (22946)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (929)

I agree, your life sucks (419942) - you deserved it (30687)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)