Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DickRice

Search for a member

DickRice

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1277
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About DickRice : LIFE IS NOT THAT COMPLICATED!!!
You get up,
go to work,
eat 3 meals a day,
take one good shit,
then go to bed!

Whats the fucking mystery?

DickRice's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:58pm<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 09/21/2009 at 11:21am<b>swooshq</b> - the 07/02/2009 at 4:45pm<b>soozin</b> - the 06/29/2009 at 12:30pm<b>zachary918</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 12:10pm<b>manoverboard</b> - the 04/15/2009 at 10:36pm<b>Zenerach</b> - the 04/01/2009 at 10:12pm<b>demonkey</b> - the 03/28/2009 at 8:31pm<b>lolol182</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 2:57pm<b>Eladar</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 1:58pm<b>000001</b> - the 03/25/2009 at 8:36pm<b>122vanessa122</b> - the 03/25/2009 at 4:56pm<b>TEAZO</b> - the 03/25/2009 at 2:59pm

DickRice's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

DickRice's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill. So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he points behind me, my mom watched the whole thing. FML

#3143292
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21114) - you deserved it (53417)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

#3136598
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17063) - you deserved it (40390)

On 06/23/2009 at 12:44am - animals - by Xtine (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad. I decided to speed to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML

#1692972
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52644) - you deserved it (10270)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by jojo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

#1686217
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9457) - you deserved it (91797)

On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94095) - you deserved it (263704)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (259094) - you deserved it (14505)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (277931) - you deserved it (17727)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

#796416
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70901) - you deserved it (38870)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (230943) - you deserved it (30494)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24068) - you deserved it (49882)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: