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Dghill's favorite FMLs
by FML / 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Eww / 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
by nhyari / 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love
by Jack00412 / 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML
by Alex / 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML
by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML
by miley098 / 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML
by jabba / 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 9:17am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by MadSon / 10/10/2009 at 10:59pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
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