Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DeviousKittyKat

Search for a member

DeviousKittyKat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 September 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 476
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DeviousKittyKat : Hi :) My name is Makayla. I'm 16 years old. My life might not suck as much as most peoples on here does, but it's still fun to read about other people's suckish lives. It makes me feel like I'm not alone LOL ;)

DeviousKittyKat's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

DeviousKittyKat's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (1710)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19577) - you deserved it (4192)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30555) - you deserved it (6419)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30555) - you deserved it (6419)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26853) - you deserved it (6928)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46797) - you deserved it (1914)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

#20102155
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28889) - you deserved it (3598)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20407) - you deserved it (2671)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

#20101252
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31111) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (5545)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22131) - you deserved it (2042)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

#20100764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7500) - you deserved it (28329)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27801) - you deserved it (2633)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML

#20099743
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14550) - you deserved it (32377)

On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

#20099296
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21915) - you deserved it (1436)

On 10/02/2012 at 11:33pm - work - by Sara (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: