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Des7ruction

Offline (the 02/17/2014 at 9:47am) | Search for a member

Des7ruction

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  • Number of visits : 413
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Des7ruction's page activity

Visits<b>armorman86</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 10:41pm<b>emily0117</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 1:56pm

Des7ruction's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Des7ruction's badges

Des7ruction's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26058) - you deserved it (2537)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

#21218616
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30645) - you deserved it (17308)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm - health - by ThunderThighs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

#21205262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37635) - you deserved it (19523)

On 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm - work - by dammit hearing aid - United States (Iowa)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55120) - you deserved it (5164) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49187) - you deserved it (5479)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48773) - you deserved it (13634)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45687) - you deserved it (7640)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46102) - you deserved it (22750)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43046) - you deserved it (6103)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

#21165721
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38563) - you deserved it (7176)

On 06/07/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by embarrassed girl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44086) - you deserved it (8301)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my allergies are so bad that it's affected the way my voice sounds. It's so bad my mom has taken to calling me Aflac because I sound like the duck in the commercials. FML

#21153823
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (3969)

On 05/27/2014 at 8:13pm - health - by cc13799 - United States (New York)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22269) - you deserved it (64229)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55030) - you deserved it (7042)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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