Derpy_Fish

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Offline (the 11/17/2015 at 5:30pm)

Derpy_Fish

0Fucked!

Derpy_FishDerpy_Fish
  • Town/Country : New Mexico, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 630
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Derpy_Fish : Notorious, long-time lurker, might even say professional. I've lurked on many a page for a very long time. Always prefer to sit idly by in the shadows.

Derpy_Fish's page activity

Visits<b>thevoidwalkers</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 9:43am<b>austincassidy95</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 11:05am<b>minimanion</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 12:00am<b>cocofan187</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 4:12pm<b>stickysyrup</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:18pm<b>Nilram</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 11:28pm<b>bronxiecat777</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 8:13pm<b>imeanwhynot</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:16pm<b>adartse93</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:34am<b>graysco18</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 12:47pm<b>retrogamer314</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 3:19pm<b>BeastGiannasio</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:30pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:47pm<b>blueiceninja</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:58am<b>California_Queen</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 10:02pm<b>docwhofan87</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 11:07pm<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 9:04pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:04am

Derpy_Fish's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Derpy_Fish's badges

Derpy_Fish's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

by accident / 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm / Australia / Love

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML

by zomg / 04/30/2012 at 5:24am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

by axel519 / 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

by Maddie / 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML

by k.love / 06/22/2010 at 8:59am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

by Kelso / 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

by Sneezy123 / 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when this small boy starts looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kids face look like that"? He said it so loud 3 tables next to us turned and looked. FML

by maximumpower / 03/14/2009 at 9:46pm / United States (New York) / Kids