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DerpyDerpinator

Offline (the 10/22/2014 at 1:39pm) | Search for a member

DerpyDerpinator

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 September 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 160
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DerpyDerpinator : I'm a Derp. Drop me a message if you wish.

DerpyDerpinator's page activity

Visits<b>Mmkay1515</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:17pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:59am<b>dekota_smith</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 9:43am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:03am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 10:00pm<b>ItsAnanya</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Laurenlou</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 2:51pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:00am<b>fractured_</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 7:24pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 6:41pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 7:03am<b>Pixela7</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:53pm<b>jackczap</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:11pm<b>omgwthilu</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:01pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:45am<b>cohnsonj</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:29pm<b>jamescrazy96</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:11am

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DerpyDerpinator's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49052) - you deserved it (3953)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41371) - you deserved it (3763)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58453) - you deserved it (12240)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60491) - you deserved it (9138)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31101) - you deserved it (8573)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

#18249265
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (2265)

On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33182) - you deserved it (7585)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20567) - you deserved it (8958)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on the train and some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

#4181466
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8249) - you deserved it (68698)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML

#544318
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94337) - you deserved it (8206)

On 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by tinytitty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

#491409
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130106) - you deserved it (6350)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by Cindy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11190) - you deserved it (69145)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29225) - you deserved it (5350)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

#2075
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16458) - you deserved it (9428)

On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)



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