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DerpDerpDerrrp

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DerpDerpDerrrp

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  • Number of visits : 2012
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DerpDerpDerrrp's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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50 favourites

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DerpDerpDerrrp's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64020) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11720) - you deserved it (41580)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (3702)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34452) - you deserved it (24583)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

#17919622
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38782) - you deserved it (9996)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36103) - you deserved it (10943)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (2783)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46458) - you deserved it (3580)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is getting back together with his crazy alcoholic ex-wife who frequently cheated on him. In addition to this news, I also found out that he maxed out all my credit cards. FML

#17843474
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (4292)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19910) - you deserved it (43680)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

#17838831
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37175) - you deserved it (7002)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML

#17813332
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27257) - you deserved it (3794)

On 09/23/2011 at 1:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, like always, my parents are such tightwads that they refused to turn the heating system on, despite the ball-freezing temperatures. I was so cold, I had to resort to warming my hands up over the toaster. FML

#17812468
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23963) - you deserved it (3256)

On 09/23/2011 at 10:33am - health - by freezingggg - Reserved

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

#17804951
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27203) - you deserved it (4490)

On 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by failure (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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