Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DerpDerpDerrrp

Search for a member

DerpDerpDerrrp

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2106
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

DerpDerpDerrrp's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of DerpDerpDerrrp's badges

DerpDerpDerrrp's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33256) - you deserved it (3564)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

#18825436
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27849) - you deserved it (8481)

On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26084) - you deserved it (3286) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, inspired by my own relationship, I encouraged my best friend to go after the guy she likes. She did, and I'm now single. FML

#18795232
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42675) - you deserved it (5134)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:17pm - love - by britt71411 - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

#18734147
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28911) - you deserved it (12862)

On 01/07/2012 at 9:12am - misc - by randomgirl - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43649) - you deserved it (3169)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

#18675253
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28629) - you deserved it (14107)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11420) - you deserved it (43696)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55234) - you deserved it (5530) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43201) - you deserved it (3239)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML

#18390647
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12232) - you deserved it (24550)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:23am - work - by TheCrossingChick (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

#18162360
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29701) - you deserved it (9973) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/05/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by Lavalise - France

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17244) - you deserved it (49138)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: