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DerpDerpDerrrp

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DerpDerpDerrrp
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  • Number of visits : 1438
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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DerpDerpDerrrp's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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50 favourites

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DerpDerpDerrrp's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML

#19385390
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30498) - you deserved it (2244)

On 03/31/2012 at 11:01pm - love - by spanishsucks - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

#19377820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20575) - you deserved it (2397)

On 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by sad (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

#19374662
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16644) - you deserved it (1633)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

#19374256
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (2920)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:37am - misc - by rozziepop - United States (California)

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18623) - you deserved it (2078)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia

Today, I gave myself paper cuts on the sides of my mouth while licking the cover of a pudding cup. FML

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35336) - you deserved it (2202)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and shoved the man away from her. Except it turns out he wasn't attacking her; he was getting it on with his fiancée. FML

#19363644
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27765) - you deserved it (4722)

On 03/28/2012 at 1:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

#19361300
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24628) - you deserved it (7354)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by ouchouchouch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (2774)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

#19328317
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20469) - you deserved it (2991)

On 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9554) - you deserved it (59516)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

#19318409
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27356) - you deserved it (18125)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

#19312458
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4950) - you deserved it (27263)

On 03/20/2012 at 4:16am - misc - by argh (man) - United States (Texas)



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