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DerpDerpDerrrp

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DerpDerpDerrrp

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DerpDerpDerrrp's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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50 favourites

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DerpDerpDerrrp's favorite FMLs

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14598) - you deserved it (52184) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14535) - you deserved it (34469)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29123) - you deserved it (19225)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18272) - you deserved it (47490)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

#19450814
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23789) - you deserved it (1875)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML

#19446242
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26091) - you deserved it (2093)

On 04/10/2012 at 10:19pm - health - by baugy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36196) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44510) - you deserved it (3088)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86349) - you deserved it (4251)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML

#19416439
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27028) - you deserved it (2588)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:32am - work - by littleman (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

#19414845
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (50355)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

#19399007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24491) - you deserved it (6842)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:43am - intimacy - by DanteWest1000 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38302) - you deserved it (2894)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)



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