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Derek321's favorite FMLs
by beardedlady / 07/02/2011 at 2:44am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by grizzlybear / 06/27/2011 at 1:55am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
by Chels / 05/11/2011 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML
by FamilySecret / 01/29/2011 at 1:55am / United States / Intimacy
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health
Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML
by biblewanker / 12/17/2010 at 11:05am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML
by anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
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- Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as… Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this… Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took…