Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DerSuldam

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

DerSuldam

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 March 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 285
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

DerSuldam's page activity

Visits<b>Angel14494</b> - yesterday at 4:35pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:12pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:58am<b>TheLeesher</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:52pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:49pm<b>thatsavagecat</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:47am<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 1:50pm<b>Jasim</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 3:05am<b>GodPart2</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 2:54am<b>Radioactive_Kiwi</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:23pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 8:39am<b>cocogibson</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:19pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:25am<b>WowMuchBad</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:40am

Fucked!<b>GodPart2</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 8:54am

DerSuldam's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of DerSuldam's badges

DerSuldam's favorite FMLs

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37112) - you deserved it (2446)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41350) - you deserved it (2819)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

#21392817
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (2779)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38594) - you deserved it (2086)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36289) - you deserved it (2419)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

#19763325
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51354) - you deserved it (3242)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

#18918439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26074) - you deserved it (4204)

On 01/26/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Bailyboo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (10230)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (10230)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14732) - you deserved it (54920)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

#8266626
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (2132)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

#3945236
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60203) - you deserved it (6333)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

#2637433
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78858) - you deserved it (4742)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML

#192383
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46442) - you deserved it (4908)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: