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Denz

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Denz
  • Town/Country : West Palm Beach, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 November 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 3008
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Denz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Denz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54855) - you deserved it (9691)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

#174723
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12653) - you deserved it (44204)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by jazojigga (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

#168522
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51104) - you deserved it (3883)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1095134) - you deserved it (108822)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (59150)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16228) - you deserved it (45898)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

#139747
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73350) - you deserved it (17919)

On 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by jsw029 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

#117948
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38744) - you deserved it (5939)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML

#96443
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40704) - you deserved it (10674)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by goddamitme (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up happy because I'd met the man of my dreams at a bar. We had shared an amazing night together. I walked around my apartment, wondering where he'd went. Turns out, he was gone. So was my car. FML

#87157
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47159) - you deserved it (23812)

On 02/20/2009 at 10:38am - intimacy - by clueless2 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43693) - you deserved it (10843)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213690) - you deserved it (73281)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

#34266
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45025) - you deserved it (7041)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)

Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML

#34266
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45025) - you deserved it (7041)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)



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