Denz

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Denz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 November 1982 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4855
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Denz's page activity

Visits<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:09pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:34am<b>youreawhore</b> - the 09/15/2009 at 7:59am<b>iammeanttolive</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 11:10pm<b>niemann2006</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 12:28am<b>kayleighcontrol</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 3:03pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 1:15pm<b>holynemesis1208</b> - the 08/10/2009 at 1:43am

Denz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Denz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

by ak / 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

by jazojigga / 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

by Elis / 03/01/2009 at 3:49am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

by LuvShawn / 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

by beachbum / 02/27/2009 at 1:03am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

by jsw029 / 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

by Originality18 / 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML

by goddamitme / 02/21/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I woke up happy because I'd met the man of my dreams at a bar. We had shared an amazing night together. I walked around my apartment, wondering where he'd went. Turns out, he was gone. So was my car. FML

by clueless2 / 02/20/2009 at 10:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

by girlmeetsworld / 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example, he responded, "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of Warcraft." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example, he responded, "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of Warcraft." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I greeted my table (I'm a server) with a colloquial "Hey there, guys, how's it going?" The customers were three butch lesbians who thought I was incorrectly identifying their gender. I received no tip (on a $35 bill), and they registered a corporate complaint about my "insensitivity." FML

by ServingYouWings / 02/12/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Ohio) / Work