Denz

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Denz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4555
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Denz's page activity

Visits<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:09pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:34am<b>youreawhore</b> - the 09/15/2009 at 7:59am<b>iammeanttolive</b> - the 08/29/2009 at 11:10pm<b>niemann2006</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 12:28am<b>kayleighcontrol</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 3:03pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 1:15pm<b>holynemesis1208</b> - the 08/10/2009 at 1:43am

Denz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Denz's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away and we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML

by cheaphubbyswife / 04/04/2009 at 5:19am / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Animals

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

by Krissy. / 03/31/2009 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML

by Blondie / 03/23/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

by Marian / 03/23/2009 at 3:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Geek

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

by its_all_legit / 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

by SmoothTalker / 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

by SmoothTalker / 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

by squirty_joe / 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm / United States / Work

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

by katzperiod / 03/04/2009 at 11:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.