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Denz

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Denz
  • Town/Country : West Palm Beach, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 November 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 3005
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Denz's FML badges

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Denz's favorite FMLs

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

#907483
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66948) - you deserved it (2595)

On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away and we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML

#796743
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67300) - you deserved it (4904)

On 04/04/2009 at 5:19am - animals - by cheaphubbyswife - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

#719955
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66833) - you deserved it (4172)

On 03/31/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by Krissy. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91363) - you deserved it (28436)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML

#555809
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12454) - you deserved it (83699)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

#554524
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61874) - you deserved it (7667)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Marian (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
331 comments

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

#505587
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67772) - you deserved it (10947)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

#456719
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12356) - you deserved it (93508)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by its_all_legit - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50137) - you deserved it (30716)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50137) - you deserved it (30716)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

#242337
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56074) - you deserved it (15811)

On 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by squirty_joe (woman) - United States

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied: "that's okay, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

#214447
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47875) - you deserved it (124732)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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